On Our Way

Hello to all my Beautiful Readers

Today is Thursday May 7th, I am Seven Weeks Postpartum, and Trying to find my way back to my body before baby.

I was never thin, I always had curves, and I am OK with that, but after having Baby G, my curves don't seem to be as beautiful as they were before. My shape feels weird and uncomfortable.

Overall I am just uncomfortable, in my own skin. Pregnancy is a beautiful time when people look at you and rejoice in your belly getting bigger, but after that, no one is celebrating the fact that your belly hasn't gone away yet. IN  fact in my experience, they tell you how you can loose weight after baby, how easy it is going to be, how you are going to feel like yourself again.

News Flash, I don't feel like myself, and I don't fit into my clothes from before baby. They say becoming a new mom, you feel beautiful, you look radiant and you have a glow. Tell that to my mirror. All I seem to see is a extremely tired Sabrina, that needs to shed some serious pounds.

It may sound like I have low self esteem, and a bad body image. In reality there was always parts of my body I was insecure about, but after you have your baby, you just don't have the same amount of confidence as you did before. You see your body change to accommodate your growing little miracle, and you embrace every curve and pound, because it's the only "socially" acceptable time to gain weight. Which in my very humble opinion is BULLSH*IT (pardon the profanity).

My body has changed so much in the past three years, after all I've had two children. I have more stretch marks then I can count, I have a baby "pouch", my breast are larger and gravity is taking it's toll, my eyesight has changed after each kid, and so had my shoe size.

That's only the physical, the biggest change has been mental. I've grown up, I learned what it truly meant to be responsible, what it means to love unconditionally. I have learned that becoming a Mother had made me a better version of myself, has made me want to be the best role model ever for my kids.

So yes right now, I have to figure out who I am again, I have to re-learn how my body works, and accept that I will be uncomfortable for a while, until both my body and my hormones start leveling out. And that it is completely and utterly OK to feel the way I do. The hardest part is feeling the need to be thinner, or to loose all of the baby weight, right after delivery. That's just not going to happen, and unlike most celebrities, (whose bodies after baby always seem to look amazing) I don't have the time or the funds to dedicate in the gym or on products to help me loose weight.

All I can do, is eat a healthy and balanced diet (which I need to do anyway for my breastmilk), continue to enjoy my evening walks with both my boys, and embrace running around after my very hyper toddler. All I can do is accept myself for the way I am, and not reminisce about what my body used to be like or feel pressure about what it should be like.

                          Pregnant with Baby G

After Baby G

-S